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Sometimes, Jay Spring feels he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he states. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘People will see that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are usually followed by a “crash”, during which he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his behavior, rendering him particularly vulnerable to criticism from those around him. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after investigating his behaviors through digital sources – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment without having independently formed that understanding on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they experience feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

Though people have been identified with narcissism for decades, definitions vary what people refer to as the term. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he believes many people conceal it, due to significant negative perception associated with the illness. Someone with NPD will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through actions such as pursuing power,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in Narcissism

While up to 75% of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are males, findings suggests this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. “Men’s narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, just kind of like everything in society,” notes an individual who discusses her co-occurring conditions on online channels. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I tend to switch to defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Even with this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she explains she and her significant other “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, if my words are controlling, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models as a child. “I’ve been learning all this time which behaviors are acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she says. There were no boundaries when my family members were insulting me in my early years.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be associated with difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, struggles with emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, he was directed to a therapist for an assessment and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for psychological counseling via government-funded care (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for 18 months: It was indicated it is probably going to be in a few months.”

John has only told a few individuals about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has accepted it. “It helps me to gain insight into my behavior, which is beneficial,” he says. Those interviewed have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number